In about one month, Pastor Pam Schroeder will begin retirement. As the day draws ever closer, some of us are, well, freaking out a little. First, there is the realization that a colleague, friend, and spiritual leader who has been integral to our lives will no longer be around. A kind of anticipatory grief is dawning on us. Second, we are beginning to ask with greater urgency, “What do we do now?” That leads to questions about whether we have a replacement lined up, what is happening with a call process, and who will do what Pastor Pam has done. 
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As we all watch the naked aggression of an unprovoked attack on Ukraine by a Russian leader mad with power, I must admit I feel a little helpless, and a bit more hopeless. Helpless because it seems at first flush, there is not much I can do. Hopeless because it is just one more example of a world circling the drain, a humanity bent on its own destruction. So, what can one do? Pray.

In a week we will begin our annual Lenten pilgrimage. The theme, the thought, the cry that will set the tone for our journey is taken from Psalm 51. 

Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and put a new and right spirit within me.
Do not cast me away from your presence,
and do not take your holy spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and sustain in me a willing spirit. (Psalms 51:10-12)

​Scrolling through the newspaper this morning I found, as I expected, that the top article was about Russia, and its supposed pullback in Ukraine. Western officials remain cautiously optimistic at this point, although they have not seen any signs of the pullback beginning. Putin’s behavior remains suspect.

​I am to teach the 8th grade confirmation class about God’s grace this evening. On the one hand, grace is so central to our faith as Lutherans, it should be an easy task. On the other, I know that grace is about the hardest thing to grasp for people of every age, let alone middle school students. The notion that anything in life that is free, unmerited, without cost, can be of any value at all is at odds with everything we know.

​Each week as we gather prayer requests for our life together, there are a lot of concerns raised. One I am seeing with more frequency is prayer to heal the divisions between people in families, in our communities, our nation and all around the world. We are divided over a public health emergency that one would think would bring us together. The news today is full of developments in the increasing tensions in Europe, Russia, and Ukraine. Will war erupt at any moment? 

In the depths of the winter cold, a short trip to Savannah, Georgia, was just what I needed as a jump start for spring and the assurance that it will one day be warm in Ankeny again. We stayed in the historical district of Savannah with its many parks and lavish greenery. The people of Savannah are also experiencing the Covid surge so with a high incidence of Covid and the warm weather, my husband and I opted to have dinner served outside. It was common to have tour groups pass as they heard descriptions of the history of the area and its hauntings. But this Friday night there was another group that first walked past us on the sidewalk where our table was located, but then about a half hour later returned. They were laughing and chatting with each other. It was a group of about seven young women. One had a wedding veil on her head. They were scanning the array of people dining and chose to approach our table. One of the young women announced to us that their friend Anna was getting married in one month and tonight they were seeking wisdom from married couples that could help Anna and her husband as they enter married life. 

​I have a lizard brain. So do you. The most basic, instinctive, least complicated part of the human brain owes its origins to the connection we have with lizards. The limbic brain, with its flight or fight software, is right at the stem of our brain. The mammalian brain and the frontal lobe are evolutionary advances toward greater complexity of thought and processing.  (Yes, a Christian pastor can – and I believe should – see evolution as a marvelous manifestation of divine providence and creation). Before we learned to learn tasks and do algebra, we reacted. Raw emotion rules.

​As I sit at my desk, I hear the wind blowing and see the bare branches of trees shaking as the wind directs its force upon them. There is a fresh layer of snow on the ground with patches of ice shimmering on the pavement, making me aware that caution is needed when navigating a path to the car later today. The sun is shining bright even though the wind chill is below zero. I am deeply aware that we are in the heart of winter, with more cold, more snow, more long dark evenings to come. The winter blahs have arrived!